Some great jokes - Samuel Singh

OVERWEIGHT GUYANESE



A Guyanese is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." When the Guyanese returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?" The Guyanese nods. "Ah tell you, dough, I tat I was

gonno drap dead dat third day." "From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor. "Nah, from skipping."





SPEEDING TICKET



A police officer stops a Guyanese for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish ya’ll wuld get yuh act togedder. Just yesterday ya tek away meh license an den today you expect me fuh show it to you?"





THE VACUUM



A Guyanese was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"



Here's some to refresh your memories

FINAL EXAM


The Guyanese reported for her university final examination that consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "Ah finish de exam in half an hour, but ah double-checking meh answers."

Have we ever thought of dates? By Samuel Singh

Once again we are at the threshold of something very amazing. In this day and age, there are numerous states which we might find importan and which we would try to remember with each passing day. Whether we like it or not, you are important to each of us as an individual. A parent might remember the birthdays of the children, the date they got married. The young couple will remember the date they first met.The person in prison may be focused  upon the date of his release.

All a person has to do is take one course in history and all you notice that there are more dates and historical events than we will ever care to remember. Everything past, the current, and even the future has some significance to different people at different times.

Keeping all that in mind, the year 2011 has four very unusual dates, all four of which have just passed.For those who know anything about numerology, it is also supposed to be a very lucky year.


This year we will experience 4 unusual dates: 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11 & 11/11/11. Now, take the last 2 digits of the year you were born plus the age you will be this year and it will equal to 111. It’s true….crazy! Do the figures yourself, I did.